Mustard Skittles, emotional support emu, ketamine in the office
Vol. 11
Welcome to Hell.
Tell me about yourself
I’m in love with Joey Chestnut
I built a house of cards 50 stories high
I live on a cruise ship 300 days a year
I’ve walked around London barefoot
My hair is 44 inches long — strange men want me to sell it to them
I’m a toe-wrestling world champ — I had my toenails removed to compete
I was so proud of my Sea-Monkeys — until their orgies repulsed me
Do you have any questions for me?
Is the world ready for another Goop?
Is this octopus having a nightmare?
Are we entering a rattail renaissance?
Is having too many followers a turnoff?
Who is daddy’s little meatball?
Is the Army’s new tactical bra ready for deployment?
Can workplace ketamine improve vibes in the office?
Can this deck of cards make your partner do more chores?
Is the cure to male loneliness out on the pickleball court?
Has New York reached peak pork?
What is this? A handbag for ants?
Can you help me return the Picasso I stole?
Would you wear underpants for a week without cleaning them?
It takes two to tango. But does China want to dance?
A food No interlude
Burger King's new Thailand offering has no meat and 20 slices of cheese
Skittles teams up with French’s to create mustard-flavored candy
Pepsi made its first-ever condiment
Subway offers free sandwiches for life to change your name
Fast food restaurant sparks outrage with Anne Frank burger and Hitler fries
Welcome to the Jell-O shot renaissance
Who did what now?
She flushed a diamond ring down the toilet. 13 years later, it resurfaced.
They found a million pennies. Now they need someone to take them.
He went after crypto companies. Then someone came after him.
She got famous calling herself a scammer. Is she finally making good?
They married for a life abroad. But they never saw their husbands again.
He wanted to pet dogs for his 100th birthday. Hundreds lined up
She steals surfboards by the seashore. She’s a sea otter.
They cuddled a kiwi. New Zealand said, ‘stop that.’
They took the day off to watch a movie. Tom Cruise crashed their date.
They stopped sharing their Netflix password. It broke up their entire family
They caught the fish. The $3 million prize got away
His Hollywood star was finally rising. Now he cleans apartments.
She invited four people over for lunch. A week later, three were dead.
He fought to keep an emotional support emu at his home — and won
She was Brazil’s Barbie. Now she’s saying sorry.
She was depressed and forgetful. It was the worm in her brain.
~ PLEASE SHARE NO WITH FRIENDS AND ENEMIES! ~
❌❌❌,
Kira
Kira, these are always so good but this is an especially great one! The section headings killed me